Date: 15 January 2016, 15:30, READ:
They say, love lasts 3 years... Whether it's true or not, we often hear this sentence from many young people. They think, it is foolish to have a family based on love...If love only lasts three years and it will end, it cannot be relied on...
The pair - who are our guests this week, obliterates all these claims. Because neither time, not difficulties have been successful to kill their love. For 14 years, they have been together, with the same love and affection. The guest of our column this time is a family of artists; the actor of Theatre of Young Audiences Vusal Mehraliyev and his wife and actress Sevinj Mehraliyev.
He "blackmailed" me
Our guests have met at the theatre. Sevinj says they became close friends after spending a lot of time together while they were preparing for a play: "We met at the theatre. I was already working there, when Vusal came to the Theatre of Young Audiences. Nijat Kazimov had brought Vusal to play the role of the Fox in "Tik-tik khanum". We became very used to each other, as we spent a lot of time together. We were together every single day". At first, Sevinj did not notice that the friendship was turning into love. It was Vusal who first professed his love: " I had realized that the relationship between me and Sevinj was stronger than love. I loved my friend and professed my love with a poem. But Sevinj did not respond to me then". At this point, Sevinj interrupt the conversation and says, with a laugh, that Vusal "blackmailed" her so that she would say "yes" : " I loved Vusal as a friend. But it would never cross my mind that we would become a family one day. When I did not return his love, he blackmailed me. He said, if I don't return his love, he will get lost and I will never see him again. Not at the theatre, or in the city or in the country... This really scared me. I loved him so much that, I couldn't think of losing him. Because our friendship was very strong. I asked him to give me time. We have been married since then. It's been 14 years".
Faithfulness, patience and self-control...
As Vusal headed for the army, Sevinj had to wait for a while: " I missed him a lot when he was away. Our former director Kamal organized a play in their military unit. They made a surprise for me. They took me to the unit. They had told me that, Vusal wouldn't be present in the military unit. I had lost all hope. And then I saw him coming. Everyone was wondering how we would greet each other. Thus, we staged the play "Alibaba and the 40 thieves". They have Vusal 10 days off. I would miss Vusal a lot during those years, it was difficult. Those military years, full of longing, passed somehow and we were together again". The pair also talked about their difficulties after getting married. Sevinj tells us that there is no ideal person. Every family has experiences problems: "Every family has its own problems, arguments and bad days. Vusal is very energetic person, I, on the other hand, am a quiet and patient person. Perhaps, this is why our relationship easily overcomes difficulties and we manage to become happy. Vusal is very impatient and I am patient. We have problems, but the important thing is to be honest, patient and not to lose temper easily. If you are faithful to your love, everything else is going to be fine. Our elders also are very supportive. It helped us a lot. Elders play a big role in shaping the family and helping them stand on their feet" . Vusal says he considers himself happy to be married to someone like Sevinj: "I feel very happy. I have a wife who is patient and understanding and compassionate. We are lucky that we have met each other. Our souls are the same, they feed from the same source, our hearts beat as one. We have mutual interests and tastes".
"We are not slave to materialism"
Sevinj says what he loves the most about Vusal is his fairness: "He, first, recited me a poem. But he did not win me over with that poem. We know what kind of heart poets have. They are very romantic. But what is important is that my husband has the characteristics of a man. He never gossips, or slanders anyone, he doesn't complain, he is not unfair and he has a good heart. All this makes me want to love him. We are sharing a life together. Therefore, we must be compatible. He is an actor, and I, an actress. We don't earn much. Even if we had different professions, we wouldn't argue over material things. We are not slave to materialism. Our purpose has always been to feed our soul, to enrich our morality and not to lose our humanity. That's why we always find common ground. We always tell each other that, if we lived during the time of Nesimi, we would be dervish. We are not interested in the games people play. We come from a different world".
He was afraid to lose...
Despite being married for 14 years, our couple doesn't have an offspring. But they are an example for those who destroy their families because of a child. They are a real family. The reason they don't have a child is Vusal's fear of losing Sevinj. Because for him, Sevinj's love is more important than anything else. Sevinj says : "We lost our child... My health deteriorated after losing the child. They could lose me too. Vusal was very scared and did not want a child for the fear of losing me. We are each other's child. We did not have any problem. I was lucky to be born into a good family, to meet a good person and to have a good family. I hope every woman is as lucky as me. We had three spiritual sons. And now it is four and we have three spiritual daughters. Sons belong to my sisters, daughters to my sisters and brother-in law. Their children are like our own children. And they see us as their parents. Vusal and I complete each other and that's what matters" .
"My love is divine love"
Our guests are working at the same theatre and they are both professionals, but they can't bring themselves to play in the same show. Sevinj says, if there is a torture scene in the play, she thinks about how Vusal would be affected by this: "One of the characteristics of Azerbaijani women is that, they view their husbands as their children. This is why men are fed up with our scolding... My love is divine. I'm thankful to my God that, I met this person. I enjoy being married to him. But it is strange, because we cannot perform together on stage. I can perform easily with other partners. Because I simply stop being Sevinj. With Vusal though, I'm always Sevinj and it is difficult to act. For example, in "Good and Evil", Vusal is Evil and they slightly hurt him during the play. And all the while, I'm worried about whether he is hurt".
Vusal also confirms that, he cannot act alongside Sevinj: "I really like the way she acts. She is very good but I can't understand why we cannot act alongside. When we are counterparties, I always worry about her. This is why we try hard not to be partners. We perform at the same play, but we try not to be counterparties" .